I mean, it can be the simplest thing... such as giving me a command - something he doesnt even think about to do. There are things and an attitude that exhibit who has the control, that put me in my place....small things... things that don't require constant attention. Sometimes yes that involves giving specific direction or tasks.... but not always. I wish I could find the words to explain because I really dont like feeling this way and it's taking a negative toll on the both of us....any feedback here would be greatly appreciated... what do you do when you are having a problem communicating something to your Sir? How do you explain a "feeling"? =/
With Control:
- free
- protected
- loved
- cherished
- safe
- sense of purpose
- in my place
Without Control:
- unimportant
- not needed
- lost
- ornery
- alone
- unmotivated
- sassy
- scared
2 comments:
yeah, it's definitely a catch-22. you can't request domination or control, it doesn't work like that. here's what's worked for me - getting some standard marching orders on a more generalized basis, rather than minute-by-minute instructions. i also have some "default" activities as well. communicating it: hm. the only thing i can suggest is what i remind myself of occasionally - that he's my dominant, not my babysitter, and finding ways to improve myself and keep myself physically and emotionally strong is *also* my responsibility to him.
hope that helps a bit-
i guess my response would include that i know where you're coming from and i've been frsutrated beyond belief with these same (negative and energy sucking) feelings but... what i've learned over the past two years is that you can't always rely on submission to have an organized life. That is to say, there is a certain amount of self-sufficiency and itnernal strength (drive, motivation, strength) that is necessary within us all.
Your Master is right; he can't always give you things to do, but there is a certain degree of "unsaid things" that you can do that will keep you in line with him, without things being demanded of you. It's a sort of internal service, but it's solely focused on energy within you for him. Do you understand what i mean?
i don't know how to explain it. Anyway, that's my feedback. i would also plead not to waste negative energy fumbling around more than you have to. There are millions of things to do in life to strengthen our souls and service *s*
Yes, i am listening to my own advice :o)
All my best,
toy
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