Today is one of those days when finding a topic to write about is proving quite difficult. I'm feeling quite pouty and ornery. Saying no is bad but I still did it this morning. I believe Sir's response was "I don't care". We have an ongoing... well I would say joke but what makes it so amusing is its truth. 2 little words for me to say "Jack" and "Shit" because that's really what my opinion means. I know he hears me and my opinion when it matters, but when it doesn't matter is when he's given direction in regards to something or has already told me how it will be. Sometimes he will say something and I will take that breath in to disagree and stop. Well Sir wouldn't be Sir if he didn't know when something was in my head and will often ask what. My response to that request is typically jack shit... and then he knows I was going to say something out of line. Oh yea, and then that chuckle... the one that makes my skin tingle...
Being ornery is bad, I get in a mood where I don't want to do. Then when I realize I am merely prolonging the inevitable I get pouty. None of which are effective tactics to use on Sir as he has a sadistic streak. It doesn't work on him and is generally followed by that same, deep, hearty chuckle. Grrrrrr.... stubborn, ornery, little girl. I say things, mean things and Sir has accused me of manipulating, when in this mood, for things I want. I want attention, but he will say its nice to want things... Sad and alone is how I'm feeling, is that why the mood? I don't know where it comes from....just that its from deep inside and it makes me just want to sleep....and pout =(
The Road Taken
3 months ago
2 comments:
I just found your journal, and am really enjoying reading it! Thank you for the link, by the way...I've added you to mine.
Do you find that writing on here every day helps keep your focus?
~S
My writing here started as an assignment from my Sir. One of my daily tasks is to write. Sometimes I do that here, or I write to him specifically depending on the topic. Either way, the reason he has me doing it is because writing helps me on many levels. It helps me get things out that Im feeling uneasy about or having a hard time with. It also helps me because when he reads it he gets things out of it he wouldn't normally in our day to day conversation. All in all a win/win =)
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