Life In General...

To be honest I'm not quite sure why I am back here. A lot has changed for me in the past 6 months. I'd have to say its been a combination of good and bad but mostly I'm just indifferent to it all... numb is a good word maybe. I think the bottom line is that I'm not happy. I don't know if that will ever change. It seems to be a trend in my life & maybe it's because that's how i want it to be. Writing has always been a kind of outlet for me, but I was really really hurt when things didnt quite turnout how I expected between M. and I that I pretty much tried to put as much distance as possible between myself and everything that reminded me of him. Unfortunately that included this and my writing. I'd like to believe that the wound isn't as fresh but I think the bottom line is that my relationship with him pretty much changed me forever and it's something that will never get easier. I'd be fooling myself if I thought that.

I've tried even more recently to remain friends, but I'm just not sure I can handle it. I don't know if I can face that day in and day out and be exposed to everything else his life is now, but I guess we'll have to see how that goes.

Other than that... no updates really not from that point of view. I'm pretty much alone in everything now. The phrase that comes to mind is you reap what you sow. This is my bed so now Im laying in it. Who knows? I think there are some things I need to figure out for myself before and above all else. I'm going through a process for a unique opportunity from a professional stand point right now and have a trip planned away. I'm hoping that maybe this will give me some time to clear through things on my own and maybe get a fresh start... we'll just have to see.

No Surprise

I'm sure I wouldn't be stating anything but the obvious by saying that I have been neglectful of keeping this updated. Truth be told that in the past few months, my little knook here on the web was sorely missed.

As far as why I stopped writing, I am sure that anyone who has read the previous posts knows that I was going through something. I still am. I stopped writing for a number of reasons. The main reason, however, is that it stopped being expected. I don't really have the same "place" as I did before with Sir. Our relationship has reached a completely more casual level - obviously. To be honest I have no tasks - daily or otherwise - right now as that has all been taken away. Another big reason I stopped writing is because I was tired of being a pity party. It is so easy to focus on all the negative. I stopped writing about the positive. I was sending myself into this deep dark abyss day after day feeling sorry for myself and I couldn't do it anymore.

Bottom line is I made the choices I made and I need(ed) to learn to live with and deal with those repercussions. My life isn't all sunshine and puffy little clouds. Things are far from resolved, but writing was important for me for so many reasons more than just Sir, and it's not something I'm still willing to give up. Granted, I may not have as much to write about here anymore, but I will try nevertheless because it has helped me in the past.

To give some updates on background... I shared awhile back my struggles with a few things. Mainly, Self-Injury. For me this has mostly taken the form of eating disorders. I would not and did not ever consider myself to be a "cutter" this was mostly a last resort. Though I have caused physical harm to my body outside of cutting and neglect in the past. Due to the struggles I was facing some months ago, I sought some comfort in these old behaviors as a way to cope and regain control of my life. Reflecting back, control is definitely something I gave up to Sir when I signed on for this. I guess that when he withdrew and our relationship began to crumble I no longer felt safe in his control. This caused a lot of problems to say the least. I lashed out in many ways trying to regain that balance.

I would definitely say that I have unresolved feelings in all that is and was going on. Sometimes, I even think I'm being resentful... If that makes any kind of sense at all. Sir fought really hard to break down a lot of barriers with me and build on the trust factors. It took a very long time for me to let go of all of those things I did to ensure I felt some level of control. In a way those things that were my safety net were just traded off and he became that safety net. So, when our relationship started getting rocky it makes sense that I felt a loss of control or not even control... security? and reached out to regain that through my need to control or rather... feel control. Resentment comes in to play in the fact that he got me to let go and put that trust and faith in him and then showed me in a way that I couldn't.

So that's where we are.... it's completely different. I'm not happy... I don't know how he feels... we rarely speak, yet we both appear to be hanging on and waiting for something... who knows?

A Calm...

There is a peace inside of me when I can kneel. It was an expectation set some time ago. There are times when I do it just to center myself, a meditation of sorts, perhaps. It forces my mind into places where only he can put me. It forces me to reflect on my service to Sir.

Kaya had a quote on her blog today... "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up everytime we do"... Sir has said many times that he does not expect perfection. I think when you are staring into the face of correction and punishment it's very easy to be fooled into believing you are expected to be perfect. It's after the explosion, the correction, and the consequences are dealt with, when you have time to reflect, only then do you see the truth. Part of the reason I read others blogs... is to just know within myself that others are out there, experiencing what I do, feeling how I do, coping the way I do. Rationializing with myself that it's ok. We all fall and we all struggle with coping with that.

I wonder why I get so upset when I am struggling. It's almost like beating my head into a brick wall. I realize it's not the situation that is upsetting me.... it's how I am dealing with it or not dealing with it rather that becomes the issue. Disappointment in feeling that I've let Sir down.

I've made comments before about when I'm "not in his presence" ... how incorrect is that phrase. Thank you to Toy for giving me that trinket to ponder on... Sometimes we lose perspective. Thoughtful as she is, pointed out to me that even though I believe I am struggling with somethings, that it was actually quite the opposite. Yes, I was and am having a difficult time with some aspects of mine and Sir's relationship as of late, but that in those exact moments, I was actually accomplishing what I thought I was really failing at...An "invisible collar" she called it. Always in Sir's presence, whether he is physically here or not, using me or not.... Never really alone.

I go about my days, work, sleep, eat, clean, errands, bills.... moments, hours, days apart. Every second though, in service to him. Expected to do right by, accomplish, suceed in everything I do, for him. Sometimes it seems to one-sided. I find myself wondering if he's thinking of me in that moment to, or if I ever cross his mind. Something that's easy to forget is that there are some things Sir can get from anyone... anywhere. It's hard to remember in those times why he chose me. I remember reading "The Story of O" and the first time she is at Roissy undergoing her training... Rene takes another woman in her presence merely to show her that he is capable of obtaining that pleasure from others. This holds true for Sir, and in times it is overwhelming, but when I am able to wade through that fog in my head, I know that there are also things that I can give Sir that go beyond that. Things that only I can give him, because I am the one he chooses to do so.

Observations...

Time... seems to be something I focus on a lot, something I bring up a lot...overrated, coincidental? It can be one of two things... I understand being busy, I try to respect Sir's time because its his to do with as he pleases. I wonder, if its so fine a line to walk. One thing has been lifted off of my Masters plate as of recently...I wonder if that could be the difference... or if its something much deeper...

I've been trying the past 2 weeks to get back into the grove of things... I was struggling with the ability to stay in my place without the guidance of Sir. Bad habits were surfacing and going without correction. I took it upon myself... maybe because I felt like I had turned blue expressing my opinion... which lets all be realistic, in some cases it's taken into account, but in others it really means jack... feeling like I had exhausted every single resource and feeling I had to make him understand - I was feeling neglected.... I gave up.

I felt like I couldn't win, like he couldnt see it my way...Interesting choice of words... my way. Maybe I forgot my purpose... so I reverted back to the things that I knew, that comforted me, the things I do for him. Day by day by day by day... rarely receiving acknowledgement. I felt like I was a little girl just looking for that pat on the head... those 2 words "good girl"... please notice me, please see me.... then yesterday.... he asked something of me. A new task, a new direction... the first in sooooooooooo long. I didn't even want to fight it...I didn't want to be shy... I just was eager to hear those words, "I want you to do something for me", I would have said Yes Sir before I even heard what it was at that point... just to have him ask, just to be able to give something....later, I heard what I had been longing for, for so long... "you did good girl"... *swoon* Blushing Im sure... I tried to play off how much it meant to me to hear that... but I think he knew.

So this transition, has made me think... did I learn a lesson here, is it mere conveinence of timing? When I am stronger... our relationship is stronger, more dynamic... I want to believe that I've learned something. I want to believe that things are going to get betternow because of it. A part of me does wonder though if its the coincidence. I guess the bottom line though is that if I want to have learned something in this, then I have done that regardless of timing or outside influences.

Growing....

I always like to take time to reflect on growth. Not very long ago I was not even exposed to bdsm in anything more than a "bedroom play" type of understanding. I have to say Kudos to all the people who take this to the next level, out of the bedroom and into a lifestyle. It is definitely hard work... harder than any other relationship. The level of dedication and commitment is much much more. The trust factor is so intense that its tiring at times. Then there is always communication....

I don't think I expected this to be a cake walk. I don't think I really understood how difficult it would be either. There are many times when I have said or expressed my feelings of being overwhelmed and have been told by Sir that I had made a committment to this and to him and that he made it clear from the beginning what would be expected. And he did... there is not doubt about that. I'm just not sure that I really understood at that moment how much work would go into it.

I've said many times before that I feel very blessed to have been chosen by Sir to be able to provide him this service. He is not only my Master, but also a teacher for me. I've learned a lot about myself. He has opened up corners of my mind that even I like to stay away from and forced me to look into myself and face those things. It's all helped me grow so much not only physically but also emotionally. I've always known how to communicate but I cannot say that I have always done so efficiently. The presentation factor plays a lot into that now as it is something that has been drilled into my brain. I can honestly say I've always been a spoiled "little girl" even before Sir came along and dubbed me that. That in and of itself has always made it very easy for me to just pout and whine and get my way. Definitely something that does not work with Sir... in fact, the pouting rather eggs him on in not allowing me my way. It's forced me to look at how to communicate and how to come to him with issues and concerns and also how to take his constructive criticism on a very productive level.

On the topic of being spoiled, this is also something else that I am not where Sir is concerned. It has forced me to really appreciate the things I do get. It can be simple things he says or does, or time that is given. It has definitely taught me to respect a lot more and not take things for granted so often. I guess I don't really have a point in all of this....Just wanted to take the time to think about this and reflect on the things that have made me stronger. I guess also once again to say my thanks to Sir for choosing me =)

how it started...

I wrote this along time ago, when I made a decision and an agreement with Sir to be his. I needed to read it today because I needed to remember why this is what I want...

I wanted to spend some time this morning reflecting on the path I'm walking down and the reasons behind it. I want this to serve as a reminder for myself if I loose sight of what I believe to be what I truly desire. I consider myself a strong and independent woman. I am good at what I do in business and I have a very demanding drive for myself. Ive come to feel that its because of thisthat my need or want is to submit to someone else whom I trust when I'm not in that roll. I would say I have power in my 40+ hour work weeks every 52 of them in the year. It is nice to experience powerlessness at the hands of someone else. At first I had a hard time seeing myself in the same light he did. I was believing myself to be far from submissive. I think the misconception with those of us who are deemed "vanilla" is that a submissive person is seen as someone weak. I always thought to myself then I wouldn't submit to anything. In fact Id fight tooth and nail in order to be the best at what I do and the strongest. That in and of itself is the misconception. Its more so a person being submissive to another. Which, by the way, I now feel to be very brave and far from weak. I wouldn't see myself doing the things he asks or could ask of me for anyone else. I choose to relinquish that power/control specifically to him. Little did I know at the time what I thought far to be submissive in nature could very well be why I am comfortable with being submissive to him. I still want to be the good little girl when he asks me to do something for him. Its not far from yearning for appreciation or acknowledgement from a professor or supervisor. However it is different. It's different in the feeling that its like a vacation. I'm very high strung and anyone who knows me will agree.. I go full speed ahead at 100mph all the time. When he is around me, I slow down. I rely on him to lead me, to decide for me, to take care of me. Slowly and surely every wall and every defense I've built up around me falls away. That feeling of a loss of control is and of itself not only erotic in nature to me, but also very invigorating. It's like a vacation from my everyday stress and worries. It refreshes me for the next day and the next moment. The idea of going home every night to that type of relationship is very soothing to me. It's something I long for immensely.

I'm still a student in this lifestyle. I know Ive barely even scratched the surface with the possibilities. I cannot see myself pursuing these desires with anyone else at this point. I'm not saying that I should. I just feel that when we started these conversations and he began to explain his preferences to me that was a journey I embarked on that I'm not ready to let go of. I know what I want. That's not it. Reading over this it sounds like my only interest in Sir is what he can teach me. In fact Ive said very little about what draws me to him. As I reflect though it is his characteristics as a Dominant that are what truly draw me to him. I like who I am when I am with him and it speaks volumes to me. I feel like he knows me, and what he doesn't know of me he really wants to. I feel cherished and loved by his words and actions. hehe... I think of a way to put this into words and you always hear about the "trophy wife"... Well I mean essentially that's how he makes me feel which I guess would seem odd to most. I like the idea of being the good little girl that hes proud of and one that he can show off. In order to get that appreciation and approval though I have to please him. When I'm with him I can be myself. I can cry, I can laugh, I can struggle... he doesn't judge me. He's patient and kind and he has a way of making me comfortable with pretty much everything. I think I still have more I need to trust him with. I don't think I've really let go of all the walls and all the defenses, but I'm learning and he's teaching. The more I come to realize that I can rely on him for anything, the more I rely on him. It's these things that led me to fall in love with him. I don't think that makes me shallow. I think if everyone can find someone that they can truly trust all of themselves to, no matter the demons, that we would all be very lucky people. I just think in this case, the reason I've been able to follow this road is because of his lifestyle. I think if it wasn't because of that, then he would not have been able to truly show me myself and the connection wouldn't necessarily be as strong. We've always flirted and had that chemistry, but its because of the communication and the guidance that we have and hes shown me that's taken it to the next level.

Insecurities

I will often go back and read something I've written to Sir or for Sir. Sometimes if I read back over something I've written while I was angry or upset and I will be surprised at how I acted. Other times Ill look back over something I had studied and then wrote about.... Below is an older assignment I had.

I reread this today because I felt like I was once again letting my own lack of confidence and insecurities step in between Sir and I. The time it took to reflect did help a bit, it reminded me of how I felt after doing the task and study and focused me a little more... which I think is something I needed at this moment.

I find myself needing to read and understand on a regular basis now. I think in some way it enables me to feel closer to him while hes unavailable or away... I also ordered the book to follow this one. It should be here just after thanksgiving so i need to get caught up on my reading as I am anxious to begin the fiction that's on its way.

Today's chapter was on scenes and how they work and the thought that goes into them.. One of my favorites I read today was a fantasy scene that the author did with his submissive. It was an induction into a coven of witches. The sensory aspects of this particular scene sent chills through me even as an outside observer. The intense thought and preparation put into the scene by her Master was overwhelming...The music, the odors, the different voices... it's incredible how much care goes into these types of things. It takes a lot of concern away mainly because the extent to which her Master went through for his subs is very reassuring about their feelings for one another.

I also learned today that my insecurities about the lifestyle are not abnormal. The author wrote that submissives often need to be reassured as to their inherent worth, especially after a particularly intense scene. The author also mentioned that submissives will often be reluctant to say anything that can be taken as criticism even when asked, but by eliciting negative comments or feelings from the submissive and welcoming them in an adult manner it would do much to build the self worth of the sub and their opinion of their Master.

He corrected me the other night in what I was saying because he felt I was saying what he wanted to hear instead of how I really felt... I often fear giving the wrong answer to a question asked, while in that particular situation I was trying to be as honest as possible i can say that this often crosses my mind. What is the right answer? What if he does not like what I have to say? i must learn to be more honest with myself and him so that we both can learn from the situation and grow on it. I would not want my insecurities to adversely effect the progress that we could make as a couple....

Another.... Punishment?

Hehehehehe.... was looking at this and realized I haven't had a public writing session since Tuesday! Oh nos... Well indicative of my last post, my mood was in a pretty off place... My writing has been private due to that fact and having to work through those emotions and feelings with Sir.... Finally managed to get the presentation right to him on like Thursday. It took 2 days and many many conversations to be had...But its good now and that's really all that matters. Yesterday morning I had to reflect on what I thought triggered me going into that space...Sir thinks a good place for me to do this, obviously, is on my knees. Just focuses my mind into the right frame set. A lot comes of those moments and it definitely reminds me of my place.

And, As always Sir leaves on Friday for his weekends out of town. Given tasks to complete in his absence, such a wonderful feeling because it makes me feel close to him even though hes out of reach... *Pout* I can do that right now cause hes not looking... =P But last night I had a bit of a set back....

There's this man... he comes into work every now and then... obviously a Dom. The first time he came in I told Sir about him because it struck me as odd behavior.... all the specific things he asked me to do for him that no one ever does. Sir said he was putting me through the paces... he came in a few times after that... I had strict directions by then as to how to handle Mr. Mysterious... "I'm unable to provide you service, but soandso can help you and then excuse myself to make a phone call." This worked, I think he got the picture a few times later... very persistent I say... Sir had me tweak words around and say them how any Dom would understand. I would have gladly screamed my status to the world and Mr mysterious any given day, but I would have to agree that work isn't necessarily the most appropriate place for that... *giggles*

Needless to say, Mr mysterious still comes in and hes gotten less pushy about me "serving" him and more friendly etc... Well last night he came in and I blindly provided "service" to him and did not call Sir per my instructions due to him being out of town and us being extremely busy at the time... Sir was not pleased.... Not pleased... kind of an understatement. You get those moments, where you say... "are you mad at me, Sir"? and then he goes "no, but I am not pleased." and at that moment.. I wished he had just been mad... being displeased is soooooooo much worse! Gah my heart melted and everything else along with it...

Today he asked how I was when we spoke this morning... I was honest, Okay but still a little down about last night. Sir is considering tasks... Take a picture of the man, to have Sir post it somewhere I have to see it daily and reflect on it... and write about it... for a week. I asked why the punishment, but he said its not a punishment... its a reminder. I don't know how I feel about this...I mean I understand why it is important. The man had an expectation, it had been made clear that I was taken, it had been made clear what my directions were. Now I didn't follow that direction... because of who he is, he will recognize that. I understand why Sir feels this is so serious but the whole thing makes me feel very uneasy... I'm very nervous about what he will decide and how the reminder will make me feel. I mean I already feel really bad and quite stupid about the mistake I made and its hard and a reminder even without that man's picture looming over me.... =/ Until I know what Sir chooses to do though, I must accept responsibility for my actions and try not to fret about what may happen... I should save those thoughts for my writing and reflection later if it becomes a task!

Favorite Things...

I was not really sure what I wanted to write about tonight, so I figured I would make a list of all the things Sir does that I love....

• When he makes extra time and surprises me with it
• When he refers to himself as Daddy
• When he says something he wants done short, simple, with no please in front.. ie call me, stand up, show me
• The way he says my whole name in that tone when I'm doing something wrong or he is correcting behavior
• When he calls me names under his breath so others wont hear... whether it be slut, baby girl, whore, little girl.... any of them really =)
• When I'm crying and blabbing so hard he cannot understand a word I'm saying but still manages to calm me down
• How he always takes the time to help me figure out how to deal with things I'm having a difficult time with
• The way he knows exactly what I'm thinking, what I want to eat, or how I feel

Slave

Sir and I had a long conversation the other night... I have mentioned before that there are things he can do or say to put me in my place. Caught off guard by a comment which seemed to have come from no where.... "do you want to be a slave girl?" Stuttering was not an option as he quickly reminded me that he was waiting for an answer. It led to this long conversation about what I wanted to be to him, what it meant to me, what his expectations where... I love our conversations like this. They can be about anything...today it was about objectifying, respect, and the difference between ignorance and confidence... These conversations... they are what make me feel like a little girl. It is like a trigger that goes off in my head that sends me directly to my bubble... Do not pass go... do not collect $200. It's my safe place... there, at his feet, where I belong. These are the good days....

Lessons Learned

With being tasked to write every day, its very easy for me to feel as though I'm rambling on and on. Sometimes, I will ask what to write about. This was the case for todays post. Sir feels I learned an important lesson last night and that is what I reflected on today.

This is continuation with the issues that were addressed in a previous post. After having hashed out everything the previous night I was presented with some information from the same boy that he had been writing to me trying to respect my decisions but still get some things off of his chest. Sir was not home yet, and I read these emails anyways. I did not think at the time that it would bother him that I had done so, but I understand now he was concerned about me reading them when he wasn't readily available to support me if it was needed. I did not find this out until a little later.

When Sir got home, I was very worried to tell him what had happened, but something I am working on that is very important is not keeping things from him. I was told that if I keep something from him then once I do share with him that he will take twice as much time from me as it took me to share. Time without Sir is not something I ever look forward to. So instead of keeping it from him, I told him why I was worried about sharing. I was concerned that he would be upset and feared what his direction for me would be, or even what he himself may want to do and it was a delicate situation.

I was greeted with calm rationality. It was very reassuring. Sir heard everything I said and all of my concerns, not once did he get angry or upset. He did express, as I said above, that he wished that I had waited until he was home to read through them. Now, I understand why though I did not at the time...not once in all of my worrying and concern did I think that would be what upset Sir. It was not the content or the situation at all , but rather his feeling of needing to protect me which makes me feel most safe in his arms.

I learned that when I do things as I should, that Sir will be calm and rational. I learned that even if he does not like something, he will always do what he feels is best for all parties involved. I was reassured of my place with Sir. I also learned that it was easier for me to deal with. I did not have the stress of trying to wade through the issues on my own, nor did I have the worry of whether or not it was something I should be sharing with Sir. I waited and discussed with him the situation and the possibilities. This made things so very easy. I did not get upset, I did not cry, I did not feel down or depressed. The answers were there and given to me, and having Sir to support me makes it all so much easier.

I think that realizing my thoughts and my experiences - as they are -belong to Sir has been very difficult for me. I think it's easy to say, it's easy to tell myself, but to actually share myself with him is very difficult. I understand now why it was difficult when I have told him before that I did not trust him. As I continue on, this lesson will sit with me for some time, forever really, knowing that I can share something with him that could potentially anger him without it actually doing so is very reassuring and it makes it so much easier to want to give more to him.

Random Thoughts...

He needed to go, my sleepy Sir, and he asked me if I was okay with it. Normally I would just say Yes, but this time I did say exactly what was on my mind. I said Yes & No. Because although I did understand he was tired and simply cannot help that, I was also disappointed. I wanted him to know that I was going to miss him and that it did matter to me that he was leaving. He kept apologizing and it was not my intention to summons apologies from him in exchange for my truth. I just did not want to be anything but truthful. I made the comment that tonight was the last night we would have, and he corrected me, rightfully so, by saying the last night this week. I understand this to be a truth as well, but I dont think it makes the situation any less painful. He tried to explain the time I would have tomorrow, but I did not wish to consider it at the time because I tend to focus on the negative and what time I was being given, was followed by a not long. I just do not do well with the farewells I suppose especially when it involves J or hmmmm the trip did not bother me this weekend, so perhaps he has found a way to comfort me with that....

On Friday, I had my task of bringing myself to near orgasm 4 times through mastrubation, taking 10 minutes of rest between, and only allowing myself to orgasm on the 5th time, with his permission. This was a hefty task and my back hurt when all was said and done, but when I was done he had told me he was proud... he called me his little slut... and told me someone else would have to take care of his cock now since I would not be there. This did two things.... the thought of another woman tending to his cock was quite the turn on.... then he said he would be thinking of me.... yet another turn on.... Also, it reminded me of my place... and made me yearn to be there. Which is very good under the current conditions... So today I asked him about her and what she did... It turned me on again ;) Gosh I feel so dirty sometimes =P

Tonight has been a long night, and relationships are wearing on me... there is a lot going on and I know not how to deal with it. This week is going to be very difficult... and next week with the holidays there will be a lot to face that until now I had been able to put off. I wish he was here right now to listen and to hold me and tell me how to fix it all... but hes not....and I will have to wait, but I know he will help me when he can.

Studies

Before he went out of town this weekend I was given my task for while he was away. I am to study and learn about protocol and high protocol in his absence. I like it when he gives me things to do in his absence as it makes me feel closer to him and I know he will be thinking about it while he is gone. I also had to send pictures to his email, which he does not check while he is away, and he said he wanted them there so he could think about seeing them all weekend until he got home. That pleases him as much as it pleases me.

The first thing I reviewed was protocol in a matter of minutes I was flooded with information and complaints, complaints mainly about how people have gotten very "casual" regarding protocol. I am glad he wished for me to review this then because of that very fact. I immediately realized it was a set of rules per se... my favorite definition is "Protocol rules are the guidelines which the strong willed andintelligent submissive uses to make decisions in the bestinterests of her DominantProtocol rules are the guidelines which the strong willed andintelligent submissive uses to make decisions in the bestinterests of her Dominant"

I feel depending on the situation he will explain to me which protocol applies and then I will come to understand what he expects in different environments, for now I will be absorbing as much of the information as possible so that when he does call on me, I will not misunderstand what he is asking for. Everyone desires something different, and every situation as well... That is what I like most about him. He allows me to read and study and then follows it by what he expects. It tells me he wants me to know all that is out there so that I am knowledgeable, but first and foremost this important thing is what pleases him.

I read one article by a Dom, where he explained he follows the Old Guard concept and has set three levels of protocol for his house. Low/Middle/High. Low he uses for normal day to day life. Middle he uses for public scene clubs & play situations. He said this is the most classic of his protocols and would be considered a "performance" protocol. High protocol he uses for short periods of time to give instruction or for amusement. He also uses it for longer periods of time for punishment.

Although I read many different rules and opinions in researching protocol this morning, my favorite article was the one I mentioned above. I liked it the most because he did not go into the specifics of the rules, posture, speak because he recognized it would vary from relationship to relationship. He did touch on the general guidelines that all should follow in certain situations out of respect, but mentioned there were still some who did not. I liked it because he explained what guidelines he uses when designing a protocol on an individual bases. It helped me to see the perspective of a dominant and what he was looking for in designing a protocol.