Easy Silence

"Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me."

It's a song by the Dixie Chicks. Its how I feel about him, because whenever my world seems to be crashing down, he's there to catch the pieces. I love him and I love that he cares about me. I close my eyes and I can see him there, those baby blues, and I know from what he's saying and I can feel it.... the way he feels.

Over the years Ive gotten very good at running away from these things, but he does not let me run. He reminds me of my place.... "who tells you have done something wrong?" I knew what he was asking, but I was down and bitter and I said, "everyone it seems!" That was quickly corrected with a "don't forget your place girl" The fact is I didn't forget my place, I just wasn't focused on what he was asking....

I am not responsible for everything, and my job is not to make everyone happy. There is one thing and that is that I am pleasing him. He is going to help me to confront some issues tonight and I am hoping that it will finally address most of the things going on right now. Whenever he helps me things are better... I guess im trying to convince myself... I just want to be able to trust and rely and as I continue to struggle with that I am disappointed in myself, yet he is proud... proud of the progress and i need to remember that always and foremost... he is proud.